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Y-a-t-il un âge pour être parent?

Études en cours, carrière qui va bon train, questionnements divers: est-ce le bon partenaire? le logement n’est-il pas trop petit? … les raisons sont nombreuses pour reporter maternité et paternité. Il y a aussi l’augmentation du nombre de familles recomposées : les nouveaux conjoints désirent-ils avoir des enfants ensemble?

Y-a-t-il donc un âge pour être père ou mère?

De plus en plus de femmes ont leur dernier enfant (parfois même leur premier) après 35 ans si ce n’est 40. Ces femmes sont sensibles aux réactions et au jugement de l’entourage. Pourtant les grossesses dites tardives se passent bien, lorsqu’elles sont bien encadrées par une surveillance médicale plus stricte et bénéficient de périodes de repos plus importantes au quotidien.

Les problèmes rencontrés plus fréquemment, en lien avec l’âge, sont l’hypertension, le diabète gestationnel et les fibromes et ils peuvent être dépistés et sous surveillance médicale. Du côté des problèmes pour l’enfant à venir, le risque de l’apparition de la trisomie 21 est plus important mais le dépistage est proposé. Aussi, la prématurité est un peu plus courante avec l’âge (surtout avec la fécondation in vitro), mais bien moindre que le risque engendré par une grossesse gémellaire, par exemple. Le véritable risque de vouloir avoir un enfant tardivement est, en réalité,….. de ne jamais tomber enceinte puisque la fertilité chute rapidement dès 35 ans.

Qu’en est-il de devenir papa à 50 ans? Situation atypique s’il en est, tout comme être papa à 20 ans. L’état de santé du père devrait être un facteur déterminant. Il doit se préparer à un changement de vie, un défi permanent qui l’oblige à rester en forme et ouvert sur le monde. Peut-être est-il plus libéré des contraintes professionnelles, conscient de ses valeurs, plus volontiers disponible pour la famille? Il a parfois déjà élevé des enfants, et en a retiré une précieuse expérience. Il y a des moments qu’il a manqués? … cette fois il voudra faire mieux, tisser une relation forte avec son enfant et s’en donnera les moyens. Mais il devra faire encore plus d’efforts qu’un plus jeune, pour tenir bon dans la durée, l’énergie n’étant plus la même.

 

Il existe différentes raisons pour attendre ou repousser la venue d’un enfant. Il n’y a pas «une façon de faire» meilleure que les autres. Les familles dites normales, les familles recomposées ou celles dont un ou les deux parents sont plus âgés possèdent toutes les meilleures chances de réussite. Il faut juste se faire confiance.

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